User talk:YellowMonkey/Archive125

		The Copyeditor's Barnstar
		I give you this barnstar in honor of your help and fabulous copyedit. And I know you could write the telephone book, hah. Thank you again. ATC . Talk 01:39, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 03:32, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

talk) 11:30, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply

]

Hi. As you can see I've now edited this article. Can you read through it when you have a mo and see if you can spot any MOS or grammatical errors. I plan on proposing for an FA in a few days. It needs some fresh eyes to look at it. Thanks.Dr. Blofeld (talk) 14:26, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sure. The only thing of her I have experienced is the film Asoka and reading on BBC about people complaining about her kissing in public YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 01:25, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Content and tone looks fine. It needs a copyedit. I don't know anything about these films or reviewers/outlets so I don't know if anything is dlieberately/accidentally missing/has too much weight or some non-mainstream opinion is cited too much. You'll get flak about the FU images again, as to what iconic imagery it adds, I'm not sure it adds anything at all. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 03:12, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah I need some fresh eyes on it for sure. I appreciate you looking at it. I can see Mr. Monkey has a lot of copyediting to do, poor animal! I'm not going to nominate it until several people have given it a thorough copy edit and I receive some feedback from Karanacs. You can write an article until you are blue in the face but at FAC people come up with a huge number of what seem pretty minor problems and when there are so many other articles that are stubs like our Vietnamese districts I feel guilty editing an article for too long. I'll ask Shahid, to be honest the first image of the "cosmetic beauty" does my head in! I wouldn't object if we moreved the first and last image anyway. I think the middle one is appropriate given that it was a major turning point in her career. Dr. Blofeld ^{White cat} 09:41, 21 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hmm, I wonder why people like to list the publisher as bbc.com or indiatimes.com. A bit odd really. I think the publisher is the company not its online url. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 01:07, 22 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think it is! Especially Hobart, as that's embarrassing! Adelaide looks very close. Did you see my post on the Adelaide talk page? Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 07:27, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yes I did that's why I made that comment. Also

History of the ACT need more refs to avoid de-FAing. I got some books and did some last year but it's still a sitting duck really YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 07:29, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply

]

I noticed that about Canberra when I based the Launceston, Tasmania art on it when I resurrected it from ruins. Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 07:33, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment people are going through Wikipedia:Unreviewed featured articles from oldest to newest. Lake Burley Griffin will be under the hammer soon, and Fauna of Australia and Yarralumla and a few others.... lots to do YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 07:37, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think a little ad-template like the Invincibels might be useful YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 07:37, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oh and on the Ganguly read I posted that latest comment and yes it was a copy of a comment I read from you, as I was too lazy to put it into my own words, lol. Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 07:35, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

On the blog you mean? YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 07:37, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oh they just came through. Did your comments pop up straight away? I turned on a "comment moderation" option because a person, I think it was a sock of of Star cricketer (talk · contribs) because it was Brett Lee idoliser who referred to Wikipedia, kept on swamping the blog with abuse. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 07:40, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yep I do. Locals weren't too happy..! My comment viewed straight away for me.... Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 07:41, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Obviously the comment moderation is broken then....Yes, ah Star cricketer, he made scoks just to vandalise my page and the Harbhajan article... and created a vandal article blnguyen.... he used to fill up Binga's article with fluff about how Lee is a great singer, guitarist, fashino designer etc..... "firepower and hostility" everywhere YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 07:45, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At least your an admin and have the powers to block him ;). Annoys me how I've got to report it and then the vandals eventually get another chance, as some admins are short of time and it all starts over again.. Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 07:53, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

He hasn't edited since May 2007 as far as I can tell. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 07:55, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Probably has another account. Although I Suppose you admins have to be careful as I've been wrongly blocked for sockpuppetry. Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 07:58, 25 May 2009 (UTC) That was one was CU direct hit. Was yours done with a CU? YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 08:00, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Not sure, but anyway I now personally know the alleged sock. Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 08:04, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Typical, I suppose. Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 05:45, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In recent times, most of the Australian GA/FA people have fallen off the perch. Only the military history guys are left, more or less. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 07:41, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I Thought you were a gownna at one stage as well.. anyway doesn't seem like your mates at

WP:AWNB seem to be too interested. ;( Temperature shock for you in Adelaide after the hot summer! Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 10:52, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply

]

Well, lloks like if I write articles for a certain project, the rest drop dead. The monkey must have a poisonous smell ! YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 03:32, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You could try. Most people would probably argue though that merely a plot alone is not notable neough to constitute an article. It can be frustrating when somebody cuts down a plot. My plot for Seven Years in Tibet (film) is too long too but seems to the a better job of describing the film than a short and snappy version would. Dr. Blofeld ^{White cat} 08:47, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think making some subarticle for full plots is a great idea. I don't think giving the entire plot in minute detail is necessary, because then why will someone be interested to watch a film? In addition, there are tags for long plots which makes them unacceptable. I think a subarticle can be very useful for those interested. Only then will readers have a choice to read whatever they prefer, and your hard work will not be wasted. What do you think? Shahid • ^Talk2me 19:38, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Let's go then.... but hmm, film plots have no source apart from the film itslef. I wonder if people will call OR? YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 02:51, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think this should be a problem. I mean, plots have never had sources even in the film articles, so why should this be a problem in a separate article? I think citing an external IMDB link or whatever would suffice. ? Shahid • ^Talk2me 16:21, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Check your mail... Very busy in RL at the moment but hope to be back on Claggy soon. -- Mattinbgn\^talk 07:32, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. Just found out the library bought a copy of Haigh's "The Summer Game" in the last few months! Splendid for the Harvey/Davidson/O'Neill era ! YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 07:41, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

May I know why you delisted Mumbai from FA? Was any consensus even reached? Hometech (talk) 08:48, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've answered below. What is your opinion of Nikkul sir? YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 03:32, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hello YellowMonkey. Mumbai has been demoted. Here is the FAR. The main FA concern were citations and lead, which were adequately addressed. The article has 177 High quality References as of today. You can compare the version of the Page when it was submitted for FAR and version of the Page as of today. There was still no strong consensus for delisting the article on the FAR Page. We are not very sure why the article was delisted. Thankyou, Kensplanet^T_C 08:41, 27 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, MF also added in some complaints about prose so I had to check them to see if they were valid (It is allowable for a person to turn up late and bring up more requests for improvement). He is a more difficult judge than I am and more reflective of mainstream FAC thinking, and I looked at the article and I found a lot of opportunities for improvement and I have implemented some of them. As Nikkul just voted "keep" right at the very start, he indicated he thought nothing was wrong/no need to work even from the start, and in the last 10 days you have been fully concentrating on another Mumbai article after voting "keep" so I took it as a sign that you weren't going to do any more work and were disregarding MF. Anyway some examples, I have implemented the specific ones and explained examples because there are often patterns involved. With the more formulaic ones I didn't do them all specifically as it is obvious YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 01:04, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

• Use of "like" instead of "such as"
• 54-word sentence
• Part of history section in the lead
• long sentences
• Lots of "which" eg "Mumbai's per-capita income is Rs. 48,954 (US$ 980) which is almost three times the national average", needs a comma before which. Multiple cases of this

• "Due to [] shortage of cricket grounds, modified versions of cricket (generically referred to as galli cricket) with varying rules are played everywhere"
  • In general, it's considered a good prose practice to avoid using the same words multiple times in the same sentence, so as you already mention cricket in the previous sentence, you can say "Due to [a] shortage of cricket grounds, [various] modified versions of cricket (generically referred to as galli cricket) with varying rules are played everywhere" - It's more concise to add "various" at the front instead of "with varying rules" as the single adjective clearly implies that the "modified versions" are different
• "The Mumbai cricket team represents Mumbai [the] city in the Ranji Trophy, India's domestic cricketing circuit, and is one of the most successful teams"
  • There is also a factual error; the Ranji Trophy is not India's domestic cricket circuit. It is merely a component, eg Hazare Trophy for one dayers, Duleep T for zonal comps, Irani, Deodhar, IPL.... Another piece of info (not a problem) is that Mumbai *is* the most successful in terms of Ranji Trophy wins by far.
• "The city has two international cricket stadiums, the Wankhede Stadium and the Brabourne Stadium" consider using "grounds" to avoid exc repetition of "stadiums" and in the next sentence, there is an inconsistency with "Wankhede stadium"... I guess if they were far apart I might have missed it
• "The Wankhede stadium is set to host the final of 2011 Cricket World Cup and is currently undergoing expansion and renovation and preparation for the aforementioned event" can be more compactly stated
  • "The Wankhede Stadium is currently undergoing expansion and renovation in preparation for the final of 2011 Cricket World Cup" - 20% economisation, "aforementioned event" can be eliminated and sentence made more direct.

• Refs in the cricket paragraph only cover Gavaskar, BCCI, and popularity
• Similar in the second paragraph

• "Football (Soccer)" Soccer should not be capitalised as it is not a proper noun. Football is capitalised because it is the start of a sentence
• Single digit numbers should be spelt out
• "[The] Popularity of field hockey has gone into decline declined, losing out to cricket" The second part also should be rephrased as it is odd to say that popularity "loses out" to sport. One option/team/person etc loses out to the other, not the popularity of one option losing out to the other one.
• "Mumbai is home to the Maratha Warriors, one of the few teams competing for the Premier Hockey League (PHL) from Maharashtra"
  • "from Maharashtra" needs to be moved to the front to make it clear that the team is from MR not the PHL.
• "Every February, Mumbai holds the Derby races in the Mahalaxmi Racecourse"
• "In March 2004, the Mumbai Grand Prix was held as part of the F1 powerboat world championship"
• "In 2004, the annual Mumbai Marathon was established in a bid to bring the sport to the Indian public" I think "athletic discipline" is a more apt term than "sport", as off spin, wicket-keeping, 4x100m relay etc aren't considered sports in their own right.
• Horeracing info is two separate parts

Looking at the last two paragraphs of the Education section

• Only the three bits about the oldest institutions are given. However, all are self-sourced. Third party sources are preferable ("high quality" again), because basically all schools publish misleading propaganda. My university says it "has" a Nobel Prize winner currently on the staff, but this is false; he is a retired man in his 70s who immigrated here and agreed to be take an ambassadorial role, he isn't paid or anything. My old high school also claimed it is the oldest public school in the state, but it misleadingly took the day of government authorisation as the "founding", whereas other schools opened earlier. My old high school also said that on their website that we "defeated" the other schools in a maths competition. Actually we only got 9 awards and some other school got 30, so a lot of organisations just flagrantly publish nonsense about themselves.
• "such as law, engineering, medicine etc" -> "such as law, engineering and medicine"; such as means they are examples, so etc is not needed because there are more that are not given
• Refs for largest, best are missing

• "Marathi Film Industry" not a proper noun
• "Film studios in Goregaon, including Film City, are the location for most movie sets" Redundant
• "Tv" and "tv" inconsistent and probably should not be abbreviated for formal language
• "Popular news channels entirely dedicated to Mumbai and Maharashtra include [the] Marathi news channels Star Majha, Zee 24 Taas, and Sahara Samay Mumbai"
• [159] sources the radio but what about the stuff all above?
• "Mumbai has numerous newspaper publications[,] and television and radio stations"
• Some TV channels in italics and others not?

GENERALITIES

• mixture of AmE and BrE
• common nouns capitalised when not used as prefix title. eg we say "Major General X" but "there are five major generals in the army" and "Prime Minister Gandhi said" but "There have been five prime ministers"
• Some acronyms with no explanation or link
• "and" is used over "&" per MOS, Unless it is an official name "Cobb & Co.", for book authors, need "Green and Fairclough"
• Lots of inconsistent formats/styles, italics for some TV stations, not for others. See below.

SOURCES

• Green and Fairclough; this book is classified as "juvenile nonfiction" by libraries, probably because of its simplistic style, lots of pictures etc
• Mixed citation formats: First name, surname and surname, first name used. A mixture of date formats. Some page formats have "." after the number and some don't. Some number ranges still use hyphens
• some of the Cites say "ToI" and others say "TToI" inconsistent
• Inconsistencies in the further reading

Most FAC regulars are a lot tougher than I am and better at spotting prose. I am very soft. I bet Laser brain (talk · contribs) Tony1 (talk · contribs) MF etc would find at least 50% more improvement opportunities. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 01:04, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've changed the sports parts so far. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 01:04, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've tweaked the media and education ones as wlel. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 03:37, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

• Thankyou, for the explanation. I agree the article is not up to FA standards. Kensplanet^T_C 04:34, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
• We though we had successfully dealt with Referencing n Lead issues. We never thought that Prose was the main issue. Even the main FAR concerns were Referencing and Lead. Had we known, we would have tried to improve the Prose instead of concentrating on REFs. After some excellent copyedits by Hometech, we though even the Prose was well improved. Anyway, Thankyou, Kensplanet^T_C 04:42, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It is still a relatively good article. An FA doesn't mean that there are no improvements that can be made, it just means that they are not obvious to spot. Do you think Hometech is really as new as his account? YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 06:36, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: Might be best for this sort of discussion to take place at the talk page of

I agree with and endorse the FAR close as appropriate. The article could stand to be improved significantly, and there were unaddressed concerns at the FAR. Cirt (talk) 06:27, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

As for your comment about Indian cities, the FA bar rises a lot so a lot of articles written in late-2007 and before on all kinds of topics will not pass FAC if they were put in now. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 06:59, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

• Hey , I just checked Hometech's talk page. You were the first one to recognize him as Nichalp. So, he is a reincarnation of Nic. Kensplanet^T_C 11:49, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, User:YellowMonkey,
I had to do a minor expansion in the "Background" section—adding "Music"—for The Naked Brothers Band: The Movie so I could nominate it as a featured article.
I wanted to ask you if you could fix some minor grammar, as I am not phenomenal at it.
Thanx!
ATC ^{. Talk} 23:52, 27 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sure YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 01:04, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. :) ATC ^{. Talk} 01:34, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done but the sentence about being angry I didn't understand it. YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 03:32, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oh, since Alex is a boy and the lyric in the song: "She's insane", was written because at the time Nat was angry, he decide to call him a she. ATC ^{. Talk} 11:43, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You fork the part "

Probably if they don't merge into the main body YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 01:04, 28 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi YellowMonkey, could you plead add the category:history of Tibet to the article 2008 Tibetan unrest. It's secured now, so I can't do it myself. Thank you very much. Regards, Davin (talk) 10:52, 30 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sure YellowMonkey (cricket calendar poll!) 03:28, 1 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The Military history WikiProject Newsletter Issue XXXIX (May 2009)
From the coordinators With end of year exams beckoning for many members, this has been a quiet month on the talk pages for Milhist. (If you are facing exams yourself, we all wish you the very best of luck!) During this quieter period, some of our most active reviewers are busy revising so it would be really appreciated if you can help with peer reviews or A-Class reviews. You can easily track articles needing review, by copying {{WPMILHIST Review alerts}} to your userpage. This month sees our first newsletter editorial. The idea is to provide regular tips and hints to help editors get up to speed with our large (and sometimes complicated) project. This month's piece, by EyeSerene, explains the workings of the project's main template, which is at the core of the project's tagging and assessing activities.  Roger Davies talk 20:26, 3 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]	Articles of note New featured articles: 1968 Thule Air Base B-52 crash Arthur Henry Cobby Battle of Barnet Fort Ticonderoga Fountain of Time Neil Hamilton Fairley Operation Perch SMS Seydlitz SS Pennsylvanian New featured lists: List of United States Military Academy alumni (Medal of Honor) List of United States Military Academy alumni (Superintendents) New featured topics: New featured pictures: The Battle of Schevening USS West Virginia (BB-48) New A-Class articles: Albert Kesselring Frank Bladin Henry Burrell (RAN officer) List of Knight's Cross recipients of the Kriegsmarine List of Knight's Cross recipients of the Schnellboot service List of Knight's Cross recipients of the U-boat service Midshipman SM UB-14 SM UB-16 SS American (1900) Teddy Sheean Tucker class destroyer Yorktown-class gunboat
Project news The Contest department has completed its twenty-sixth month of competition, with 83 articles entered by 15 editors. This month's top scorer is Bellhalla with 123 points followed by Sturmvogel 66 with 101 points. They receive the Chevrons and the Writer's Barnstar respectively. Parsecboy commendably came third with 47 points, with honorable mentions going to Ian Rose (38), Ed (28), Abraham, B.S. (15), the_ed17 (12), Amore Mio (11) and Kirk (11). Thanks also go to Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus, DPdH, Lordoliver, Belissarius, Wild Wolf, Gaia Octavia Agrippa and mynameinc, who also fielded entries. In a welcome addition to a long under-represented area, this month saw the creation of the Pakistani military history task force , which hits the ground running with 11 participants. In another task force development, please help recruit members for some of our smallest and quietest task forces. If you know anyone who may be interested, or are interested yourself, please see the Lebanese military history (9); South American military history (9); and Spanish military history (9).
Awards and honours Bellhalla has been awarded the Milhist A-Class medal with Oakleaves for SM U-10, SM UB-14 and SM UB-16. List of Knight's Cross recipients of the U-boat service . Henry Burrell (RAN officer) .
Editorial: "How to use the Milhist template" Welcome to a new occasional feature of The Bugle, where over coming issues we'll be exploring some of the roles, tasks, and technical functions that go into creating what archivist and researcher Simon Fowler has described as the best general resource for military history on the internet.† As a project we can rightly be proud of that accolade, and we gratefully acknowledge the debt we owe to those dedicated editors from across Wikipedia that have helped to make the Military history WikiProject what it is today. Many editors' first inkling of milhist's existence is when they spot our project banner on an article talk page. The banner can be easily added to appropriate articles by any editor, by typing {{WPMILHIST}} at (or near) the top of the talk page on a new line, and saving the page with an appropriate edit summary. This short form of the template will add the article to our project, and also flag the article as needing assessment and assignment to a task force by automatically adding it to the unassessed articles and articles with no associated task force categories. As with many templates in use on Wikipedia, additional parameters can be specified. Possibly the most useful to include is the class parameter, because this will help out any editors who come along later to assess the article. To add the class parameter, edit the template markup to look like {{WPMILHIST|class=}}... and if you wish, have a read through the assessment guidance on milhists's B-class checklist . Finally, when adding the milhist banner it's useful to assign the article to one (or more) of our task forces . This will help to bring it to the attention of those editors most likely to be interested in, and knowledgeable about, the subject. As with assessment, task force assignment is accomplished by adding a parameter to the template—in this case, simply the name of the task force followed by =yes (or =y). For example, to assign a Start-Class article to the Second World War and Canadian task forces, the template should read {{WPMILHIST|class=start|B1=|B2=|B3=|B4=|B5=|WWII=yes|Canadian=yes}}. For a full list of all the banner template parameters and more detailed usage instructions, see main project talk page. Happy templating! EyeSerenetalk †Simon Fowler, Guide to Military History on the Internet, UK:Pen & Sword 2007, ISBN 9781844156061 , p. 7
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