Wikipedia:Peer review/Candy (Foxy Brown song)/archive2

Candy (Foxy Brown song)

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This peer review discussion is closed.

I would like to put this article through the FAC process sometime in the future (although I do not have any specific time in mind), and I would greatly appreciate any feedback on how to better improve it prior to a nomination. I have successfully worked on two song FACs in the past, but this is still really out of my comfort zone. Thank you in advance!

• Pinging @
  Aoba47 (talk) 05:01, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• Thank you for this suggestion! I am always the worst at writing the lead, probably because I save it for the end and rush through that part somewhat. Your version is head and shoulders above mine, and it motivates me to try and be better with this particular part of Wikipedia writing.
  Aoba47 (talk) 00:10, 5 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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"The song premiered at the album's listening party, and although no official music video was created for "Candy", the song did appear in the music video for subsequent single "Tables Will Turn"." ^ I've not seen the music video for TWT, so how brief was the "Candy" portion? Just a little snippet or basically the whole thing?

• Thank you for bringing it up. I agree that the original wording was too vague. Only a small portion of the song is played at the end of the "Tables Will Turn" music video, roughly 30 seconds or so. Please let me know if further clarification is necessary.
  Aoba47 (talk) 00:10, 5 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• Typo at "In 2008, The News-Press' Mark Marymont for said that although Kelis had "sometimes thin, even whiny vocals", she sounded better on duets like "Candy"."

• I am not sure how that happened lol. I have fixed this.
  Aoba47 (talk) 00:10, 5 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• I think there's another typo in the last paragraph of this section: "In a review of Macy Gray's 2001 album The Id, The Washington Post's Arion Berger said the track "Harry" had had (?) a "sexual boast as bold" as "Candy" ..."

• Apparently, the sexual boasts in these songs were so bold that I had to put in two "had"s lol. I have corrected this.
  Aoba47 (talk) 00:10, 5 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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Otherwise, I thought this was a finely written and nicely researched article, with little to complain about even at this stage. I hope this review has been helpful, and I look forward to seeing it nominated at FAC soon. Hope you're keeping well. ;) Homeostasis07 (talk/contributions) 19:07, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

• Thank you for your comments and your kind words. I have been fortunate enough to have two song articles successfully pass through the FAC process, but I always feel slightly uncomfortable when it comes to nominating song articles for some reason. Please let me know if you need any help with anything on here. It is always a pleasure to hear from you.
  Aoba47 (talk) 00:10, 5 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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Comment You may find User:Headbomb/unreliable, as it highlights potentially unreliable sources. For your article, I can see that YouTube and Jezebel are two such sources. HĐ (talk) 11:36, 8 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

• YouTube is used as a primary source to discuss a music video so that should be acceptable. I will do further research into Jezebel. That citation is only used once so it would be easy to remove, but I'd like to look further into it first. I personally would not see a reason to consider Jezebel unreliable in this context, since it is not used to support contentious or controversial claims. Thank you for your help!
  Aoba47 (talk) 16:54, 8 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• Just wanted to update you to let you know that I have removed the Jezebel source since there was already a more reliable source used to cover the same information.
  Aoba47 (talk) 19:16, 9 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• I think you can do better with this caption: Kelis (pictured in 2007) received praise for her performance on "Candy". "Received praise" is so generic that it becomes trite. That's all I've got (but you can install this script). SandyGeorgia (Talk) 18:38, 27 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

• Thank you for the comments. I agree that "received praise" has been repeated so often that it does become rather empty. I have revised the image caption to hopefully be more specific and descriptive to this song. Thank you for the script link. I need to sit down and learn how to use scripts because I am quite bad at that for some reason.
  Aoba47 (talk) 21:40, 27 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• @SandyGeorgia: Apologies for the ping, but I wanted to keep the conversation here. Do you think that I should archive this peer review? It was opened in early September and is currently the oldest peer review in the "Arts" category. I would not want to divert attention away from newer peer reviews, and this one has already received a fair bit of attention (and thank you again for everyone that has helped here). I would like to nominate this article for a FAC, but I was thinking of waiting until December for that so I am not asking this because I am in a rush for that. Just trying to help the peer review process as much as I can.
• @
  Aoba47 (talk) 00:21, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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Either way seems fine; not sure Tom is around a lot, he seems busy. Your choice! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 00:31, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

• Thank you. It was just something I was thinking about. I'll keep it open another week, and then close it.
  Aoba47 (talk) 00:44, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• Revised. You are right. I just think it looks weird, but A-side and B-side both should be capitalized.
  Aoba47 (talk) 16:33, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• I linked "soundtracks".
  Aoba47 (talk) 16:33, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• I would link like this: Associated Press's, as it's a proper noun, but I think personal preference could be okay here.

• I prefer to have "s's", but it is encouraged by
  Aoba47 (talk) 16:33, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• Could you link first New York City in lead and prose?

• Linked.
  Aoba47 (talk) 16:33, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• Thank you for checking. I am not too surprised since the single's US release seemed to be quite limited so that probably impacted its international performance.
  Aoba47 (talk) 16:33, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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• Thank you!
  Aoba47 (talk) 16:33, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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Well done on the article - fantastic that there are critical reviews both positive and negative. I'm sorry that I don't have any more comments, the article is looking good to me. SatDis (talk) 05:48, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

• Thank you for your comments, and there is no need to apologize. You have caught a lot of things that I kept reading over so I greatly appreciate it. I try my best to stay as objective as possible by including both the positive and negative reviews. I am very happy and pleasantly surprised that I found so much coverage for the song, especially when this is what the article looked like before I started working on it.
  Aoba47 (talk) 16:33, 31 October 2020 (UTC)[reply
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