Cuckold
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A cuckold is the
History of the term
The word cuckold derives from the cuckoo bird, alluding to its habit of laying its eggs in other birds' nests.[3][4] The association is common in medieval folklore, literature, and iconography.
English usage first appears about 1250 in the medieval debate poem The Owl and the Nightingale. It was characterized as an overtly blunt term in John Lydgate's The Fall of Princes, c. 1440.[5] Shakespeare's writing often referred to cuckolds, with several of his characters suspecting they had become one.[4]
The word often implies that the husband is deceived; that he is unaware of his wife's unfaithfulness and may not know until the arrival or growth of a child plainly not his (as with cuckoo birds).[4]
The female equivalent cuckquean first appears in English literature in 1562,[6][7] adding a female suffix to the cuck.
A related word, first appearing in 1520, is wittol, which substitutes wit (in the sense of knowing) for the first part of the word, referring to a man aware of and reconciled to his wife's infidelity.[8]
Cuck
An abbreviation of cuckold, the term cuck has been used by the alt-right to attack the masculinity of an opponent. It was originally aimed at other conservatives.[9]
Metaphor and symbolism
Horns and the rut
In Western traditions, cuckolds have sometimes been described as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns". This is an allusion to the mating habits of stags, who forfeit their mates when they are defeated by another male.[10]
In Italy (especially in Southern Italy, where it is a major personal offence), the insult "cornuto" is often accompanied by the sign of the horns. In French, the term is "porter des cornes". In German, the term is "jemandem Hörner aufsetzen", or "Hörner tragen", the husband is "der gehörnte Ehemann".
In Brazil and Portugal, the term used is "corno", meaning exactly "horned". The term is quite offensive, especially for men, and cornos are a common subject of jokes and anecdotes.
Green hat
In Chinese usage, the cuckold (or wittol) is said to be "戴綠帽子" dài lǜmàozi, translated into English as 'wearing the green hat'. The term is an allusion to the sumptuary laws used from the 13th to the 18th centuries that required males in households with prostitutes to wrap their heads in a green scarf (or later a hat).[12]
Associations
A saint Arnoul(t), Arnolphe, or Ernoul, possibly Arnold of Soissons, is often cited as the patron saint of cuckolded husbands, hence the name of Molière's character Arnolphe.[13][14]
The Greek hero Actaeon is often associated with cuckoldry, as when he is turned into a stag, he becomes "horned".[15] This is alluded to in Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor, Robert Burton's The Anatomy of Melancholy, and others.[16]
Cross-cultural parallels
In Islamic cultures, the related term dayouth (
Cuckoldry as a fetish
Unlike the traditional definition of the term, in
If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where being cuckolded in reality does not damage the relationship, they may try it out in reality. This, like other sexual acts, can improve the sexual relationship between partners.[28] However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the "cuckold": the cuckold convinces his lover to participate in the fantasy for them, though other "cuckolds" may prefer their lover to initiate the situation instead. The fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is being humiliated against their will.[29]
Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant of masochism, with the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated.[30][31] In his book Masochism and the Self, psychologist Roy Baumeister advanced a Self Theory analysis that cuckolding (or specifically, all masochism) was a form of escaping from self-awareness, at times when self-awareness becomes burdensome, such as with perceived inadequacy. According to this theory, the physical or mental pain from masochism brings attention away from the self, which would be desirable in times of "guilt, anxiety, or insecurity", or at other times when self-awareness is unpleasant.[32]
See also
- Beta male
- Candaulism
- Crime of passion
- Cuckoldry in fish
- Cuckquean
- Erotic humiliation
- Female dominance
- Female promiscuity
- Feminization (activity)
- Human sperm competition
- Kuckuckskind
- Monogamish
- Netorare
- Non-paternity event
- Open marriage
- Paternity fraud
- Polyamory
- Polyandry, marriage to multiple husbands
- Pregnancy fetishism
- Swinging
- Voyeurism
References
- ISBN 9781139458047.
- ^ Davidson, Thomas. "Whitlow to Wyvern". Chambers's Twentieth Century Dictionary 1908 – via Wikisource.
- ^ "cuckold". Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved 19 December 2016.
- ^ a b c Williams, Janet (4 July 2009). "Cuckolds, horns and other explanations". BBC News. Retrieved 11 February 2013.
- ISBN 978-1-317-47677-1.
- ISBN 9042004339. Retrieved 22 November 2016 – via Google Books.
- ISBN 9780485113938. Retrieved 22 November 2016 – via Google Books.
- ^ Oxford English Dictionary
- ^ Stack, Liam (August 15, 2017). "Alt-Right, Alt-Left, Antifa: A Glossary of Extremist Language". The New York Times.
- ^ E. Cobham Brewer 1810–1897. Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. 1898.
- ^ LaGuardia, David P. (2008). Intertextual Masculinity in French Renaissance Literature. Franham, UK: Ashgate Publishing. p. 133.
- ISBN 0-8047-4559-5. Retrieved 2008-07-27.
- ISBN 9042004290.
- JSTOR 386804.
- ^ Oxford English Dictionary (3rd ed.). 2010.
- ^ John Stephen Farmer (1903). Slang and Its Analogues Past and Present. Subscribers only. p. 15.
- ^ Sallo, Ibrahim Khidhir. "A Sociolinguistic Study of Sex Differences in Mosuli Arabic in Mosul-Iraq."
- ^ Shahawi, Majdi Muhammad Ash (2004). Marital Discord - Causes & Cures. Darussalam Publishers.
- S2CID 145004098.
- ISSN 2572-3618.
- ^ Elizabeth Weiss (2017-08-09). "The Cuckolding Fetish Explained: Why Some Men Actually *Want* to Be Cheated On". Marie Claire Magazine. Retrieved 2022-06-27.
- ISSN 0362-4331. Retrieved 2022-06-27.
- ISBN 978-1-4422-0031-9.
- ^ Huffington Post. Retrieved 19 December 2016.
- Salon. Retrieved 19 December 2016.
- ISBN 978-1-55798-617-7, retrieved 2022-10-22
- S2CID 4722706.
- ^ "A consequence of cuckoldry: More (and better) sex?". American Psychological Association. October 2011. Retrieved 2022-10-22.
- S2CID 43535241.
- ^ Rufus, Anneli (July 29, 2010). "Cuckolding: The Sex Fetish for Intellectuals". The Daily Beast. Retrieved November 20, 2021.
- ^ Betchen, Stephen J. (November 18, 2014). "Sexually Dominant Women and the Men Who Desire Them, Part II". Magnetic Partners blog post. Psychology Today.
Cuckolding can also be mixed with other non-monogamous relationship arrangements with which it has substantial overlap such as swinging, open relationships, and polyamory. Again, it is distinguished from these concepts in that cuckold's thrill in their partner's acts is specifically masochistic
- ISBN 978-1138876064.
External links
- Media related to Cuckold at Wikimedia Commons
- The dictionary definition of cuckold at Wiktionary
- Una McIlvenna (December 20, 2017). "From the 16th-century to men's rights activists: The history of the insult 'cuckold'". ABC. Retrieved December 20, 2017.