Lavender marriage
![]() | The examples and perspective in this article deal primarily with the Anglosphere and do not represent a worldwide view of the subject. (June 2021) |
A lavender marriage is a male–female
In the Anglosphere
With the inclusion of
The term lavender marriage has been used to characterize the following couples/individuals:
- The English broadcaster and journalist Nancy Spain considered entering a lavender marriage to disguise her relationship with Joan Werner Laurie, a magazine and book editor.[5]
- Actor Rock Hudson, troubled by rumors that Confidential magazine was planning to expose his homosexuality, married Phyllis Gates, a young woman employed by his agent, in 1955. Gates insisted until the time of her death that she had had no idea the marriage was anything other than legitimate.[6]
- American theater actress and producer Katharine Cornell married stage director Guthrie McClintic in 1921. She appeared only in productions he directed, and they lived together in their Manhattan townhouse until his death in 1961.[7]
- Swedish Hollywood actor homosexual man who had a relationship with actor/stuntman Kenneth DuMain.[8]
Although lavender marriages are typically associated with LGBTQ+ celebrities, people of all backgrounds have used them for protection and convenience. These individuals have found solace on websites where they can express their distress about their marriages of convenience, but not many have talked about their experience outside of the Internet, apart from an article in The Guardian in November 2019, asking individuals to share their reasons for marrying for convenience.[9] In November 2017, an article was published by the BBC about marriages of convenience in Asian LGBTQ+ communities in the UK.[10]
The BBC article and its participants refer to a "marriage of convenience" rather than a lavender marriage, but they are still referring to a marriage that hides one partner's sexuality or that of both. Individuals reported that family expectations and keeping up an image were several reasons why they had a marriage of convenience. Awemir Iqbal, a gay man originally from Pakistan and residing in West Yorkshire, stated that he understood why people had a marriage of convenience to satisfy their family's wishes. A fear of tarnishing the family name, or being disowned if they were to express their sexuality by pursuing same-sex relationships, leads some to enter into a marriage of convenience. Support for LGBTQ+ individuals comes from "Karma Nirvana", a group to help individuals escaping forced marriages. Karma Nirvana's founder, Jasvinder Sanghera, says there are probably more marriages of convenience than are reported. Websites such as Mocmatch, Saathinight, and Al-Jannah are places where individuals can find partners to partake in a marriage of convenience.[10]
In the Sinosphere
Lavender marriages are known as Xinghun (nominal marriage) with the non-homosexual partner in the marriage being called Tongqi or Tongfu in China, where same-sex marriages or the LGBTQ+ community are not usually accepted. During the Chinese New Year, people travel home to celebrate with their families, but young people also have to worry about pressures surrounding marriage (Cui Hun) and having children. For gay Chinese men and lesbian Chinese women, societal pressure to have a heterosexual relationship can be so profound that they often turn to lavender marriages or "cooperative [marriages]". Some gay male individuals marry lesbian women to undertake societal and parental expectations and ease some pressure.[11] Many couples report that the lavender marriages do more harm than good if individuals deny themselves the expression of their sexuality outside of the marriage.
However, smaller LGBTQ+ communities have gained enough momentum for an app to have been developed specifically focused on providing lavender marriages for LGBTQ+ individuals. The app, called "Queers", has been discontinued, but it made such an impact in the LGBTQ+ community that former members have asked Queers founder, Liao Zhuoying, for a partner of the opposite sex they can take home to prevent nagging from family members.[11]
See also
References
- ^ Claude J. Summers (2005). The Queer Encyclopedia of Film & Television. Cleis Press. p. 132.
- ^ Lyttle, John (August 29, 1995). "The bride and groom wore lavender". The Independent (UK). Retrieved January 18, 2015.
- ^ Trimmier, Benjamin. "Haines, William 'Billy' (1900-1973)". glbtq.com. Archived from the original on April 18, 2007. Retrieved April 28, 2007.
- ^ a b Morgan, Thad. "When Hollywood Studios Married Off Gay Stars to Keep Their Sexuality a Secret". HISTORY. Retrieved December 3, 2020.
- ISBN 9780304328796. Retrieved January 18, 2015.
- ISBN 9781861055576.
- ISBN 9780316585378.
- ^ Nils Asther memoirs "Narrens väg - Ingen gudasaga", 1988, Sweden.
- ISSN 0261-3077. Retrieved December 3, 2020.
- ^ a b "LGBT Asians turning to marriages of convenience". BBC News. November 8, 2017. Retrieved December 3, 2020.
- ^ a b "Why aren't you married?: In China, gay men and lesbians pair off to keep parents off their backs". The Washington Post. Retrieved November 19, 2020.