User:Catherine de Burgh/Catherine Bonkbuster
Lady Catherine Augusta Amelia Gladys de Burgh | |||||
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![]() A photograph of Lady Catherine at the height of her beauty. | |||||
First Lady of Wikipedia; Princess of Serbo-Croatia; Countess of Scrotum (de facto); Duchesse de Longchamp-sous-Châtenois; As Consort of Governor- General, the Honourable Humphrey de Burgh, First Lady of Canada and Australia and other overseas dominions. | |||||
Tenure | 1910 to present | ||||
Coronation | Very shortly | ||||
Born | Scrotum House, Berkley Square, London | January 1, 1910||||
Died | at intervals and when applicable London (assassinated by Arbcom) | ||||
Spouse | (1)Sir Marmaduke Arbuthbott-Bumley-Smythe; (2) Baron Lars-Hendrik Abba af Waterloo; (3) The Honourable Humphrey de Burgh; (4) HSH Prince Alexander of Serbo-Croatia; (5-9) Sundry others; Henri, (10) Duc de Longchamp-sous-Châtenois. | ||||
Issue |
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House | Bonkbuster | ||||
Father | Phimosis Bonkbuster, 14th Earl of Scrotum | ||||
Mother | Lady Arabella Wyndham-Berkshire | ||||
Religion | Church of England (If people don't want to join they shouldn't come here, and that goes for Catholics, Presbyterians and other unorthodox wotknots). |
Lady Catherine Augusta Amelia Gladys de Burgh, (1910–2008, 2012–) author, stateswoman, Wikipedian and lady, was born
From the moment of Her Ladyship's birth London society was astounded by her wit, charm and beauty.[2] Winston Churchill once said during World War II that had Lady Catherine been born a man she would have been very different.[3] From the time of her first marriage in 1928, Lady Catherine changed the course of world history by her mere presence at momentous events. The greatest of literary works remain unpublished as Lady Catherine always understood her work to be too refined for the lower orders, tradespeople and those who work for a living. Her Ladyship also mistrusted publishers as a breed, following slanderous comments made by one during negotiations, soon thereafter terminated, for publication of her first great work "My Memories of the Scrotum Family".
Following the untimely death in 2006 of her eleventh husband at the age of 23, and her subsequent re-marriage a month later to Henri, Duc de Longchamp-sous-Châtenois, Her Ladyship lived in quiet retirement at her homes in Grosvenor Square, Dorset, Deeside and Cap Ferrat. Following a suspected poisoning by Wikipedia's Arbitration committee, Her Ladyship died at her London home on 20 November 2008. The world and Wikipedia mourned.
Fortunately for the world, Her Ladyship was a great believer in cryonics, and it was a cause for huge global celebration when Her Ladyship was restored to full health in 2012.
Early life
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/ad/CdeB4.jpg/250px-CdeB4.jpg)
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Lady Catherine's childhood was as idyllic as is only possible to one so highly born and blessed with so many talents. She was the youngest in the nursery she shared with her sister "Flopsie" (Lady Florence Bonkbuster), her brother "Arsie" (Archibald, Viscount Broadmoor), and nobody else.
Lady Catherine was overjoyed in 2007 to discover that her eldest sister "Vishy" (Lady Venetia Bonkbuster) was still alive. For years Lady Catherine had been informing people that Vishy was dead, a very understandable mistake. All the time Lady Venetia had been living in a beautiful institution in Margate. Sadly devoid of the beauty and charm bestowed upon her sister, Lady Venetia, the eldest of the Bonkbuster girls and 'that most inscrutable of Scrotums' (as Strachey had put it)[4] became jealous, vicious, conniving and scheming: qualities which Lady Catherine was too innocent to understand. It was only when the slanders uttered by the spiteful creature became so unbearable that Lady Catherine was forced to have a word with her beloved Uncle Buffy, a high court judge; and it was he, ignoring Lady Catherine's cries of protestation and pleas for mercy, who had the creature confined indefinitely in a home for the insane.[5] Despite all the vitriol and undeserved hate directed at poor Lady Catherine by her demented sister, Lady Catherine has never been known to utter a disloyal word against Lady Venetia.[6] – such is the inner beauty and tranquillity of the highborn.
A different view of the matter is presented in her mother Arabella, Countess of Scrotum's collector's item What the Baronet Saw (1927), and supplemented by Roy Throng's Wrinkled Retention (2008).[7] Shortly after publication of her extraordinary memoir, Arabella succumbed to injuries sustained in an unusual accident involving a zebra, details of which are unsuitable for the gentle reader but entirely suitable for Mr Throng.
It has frequently been said that Lady Catherine was the most gifted child in the Bonkbuster nursery, and this is true. Successive governesses employed to instruct the child progeny all stated that there was little they were able to teach the adorable little girl. One such governess went on to recall in her memoirs [8] that in the twelve years in the Earl of Scrotum's employ, she had been able to teach his children nothing. Thus it was in 1929, fully equipped for a life at the apex of London Society that the dazzling Lady Catherine was presented to the court at Buckingham Palace and launched onto the global stage she was to occupy for the remainder of her very long and interesting life.
A debutante is presented
It has again frequently been said that the London social season of 1929 was the most glittering ever. Lady Catherine was presented to the King and Queen on the evening of July 12th 1928. Queen Mary herself later recalled the occasion in glowing terms, and her succinct and telling words summon up for us the beauty and glamour of that long ago court: "I was siting on the throne when Lord Scrotum's girl was presented, afterwards I had salmon with hollandaise sauce, it was very nice. Bed at 11.45." [9] For the Queen who seldom used superlatives to describe Lady Catherine's presentation as "nice" tell us so much about the good taste of Lady Catherine's dress and toilette and also her exquisite beauty.
In her third autobiography, Lady Catherine, a much respected historian, described the event as an important date in the history of the World; with her usual touching modesty Lady Catherine leaves it to the reader to assume why that fact should be. [10] It was noted by many attending the event that Lady Catherine exchanged pleasantries with Lord Rosebery and the significance of this escaped no one, especially when the eminent peer died shortly afterwards, leaving the innocent young girl a small token of his appreciation. So touched was Lady Catherine by this bequest of an oil well, that she later renamed it Crippen after her favourite Pekinese.
As the social season continued no one can be surprised to learn that Her Ladyship was nominated "Deb of the Year" and was in much demand; so much demand, in fact, that evil rumours were spread by less beautiful debutantes and their extremely ugly and vindictive mothers. These were entirely unfounded and not suitable for repetition here. Lady Catherine was always more than virtuous and there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for her presence in the shrubbery at Dorchester House with three officers from the Household Cavalry.
Following the Dorchester House ball, a hastily convened committee of the leading society hostesses unanimously agreed that it was unfair to expect the poor and very innocent Lady Catherine to subject herself to further risk of such wicked, slanderous and libellous gossip. It was decided, therefore, in order to protect the poor young girl's reputation, no more invitations would be issued to her. To shield her darling daughter further from the lying tongues, Lady Scrotum immediately took her to Florence, where Lady Catherine spent the next nine months studying religious art.[11] A subject on which Lady Catherine is now considered one of the world's greatest connoisseurs.[12]
Thus in April 1929, Lady Catherine returned to London, where all marvelled and acclaimed her slim figure as she began her unstinting work with numerous military charities. It was at this time that she founded HUMP (Holidays for Underprivileged Military Personal). So great was her personal interest and generosity that Her Ladyship took in this charity, she often took several soldiers away to the sea-side with her at the same time. What happy care fee days these were.
Thus it was at even this young age, Lady Catherine demonstrated those admirable qualities of compassion and philanthropy for which she is so well known today throughout the World. In the original manuscript of his A History of the English-Speaking Peoples, it is believed that Winston Churchill wrote several chapters devoted to the achievements and multiple talents of Lady Catherine; however, anxious to remain a simple, humble girl devoted to the poor and needy, Her Ladyship persuaded him to cut all references to her. Was there ever a greater British heroine?
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Marriages
Brigadier Sir Marmaduke Arbuthbott-Bumley-Smythe
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0c/Emmeline_Pankhurst_in_prison.jpg/200px-Emmeline_Pankhurst_in_prison.jpg)
Sir Marmaduke Arbuthbott-Bumley-Smythe (1850–1929) was a retired
Sadly, within weeks of the wedding, London society would return to the same church to mourn Sir Marmaduke. Finding his inert body at the foot of his imperial staircase, his wheel-chair atop of him, his young and hysterical bride could only weep that he had seemingly slipped from her grasp. It was with a heavy heart that Lady Catherine learnt that she was now possessed of the Arbuthbott-Bumley-Smythe fortune.
However, before the poor baronet was decently buried, rumours of a vile nature were circulated by his children, claiming that the grief-stricken young widow had been comforted to an unusual degree by her under-footman Sven Skandaborg. Although well aware of the troubled past of Sven (known to the London underworld as "the Swede"), Lady Catherine had complete confidence in him. So confident was she that she entrusted him with a large sum of money for his quick return to his native Sweden, to spare him from the rumours maligning him. In this way Her Ladyship once again demonstrated her kindly and thoughtful nature. But how often must the good suffer! Lady Catherine was to be no exception to this rule. So inconsolable was the beautiful widow that she had to be dragged screaming from her husband's funeral by his family and the police.
As the whispering campaign continued, the unfortunate Lady Catherine found herself arrested and charged with the murder of her husband, and the dark shadow of the gallows loomed ahead. When Lady Catherine finally appeared at the Old Bailey she was surprised to find the judge was no less a personage than her father's old school friend Justice Sir Bufton Sleighthand, her beloved Uncle Buffy. Sir Bufton was horrified to find that the girl he had dandled on his knees so many times, and so recently, was charged with such a heinous crime. Thus it was that the wise old judge directed the jury that it was inconceivable and impossible that a descendent of an Earl of Scrotum, and such a pretty one as that, could be capable of such a crime. Only one juror dissented, and he was given twelve years for impudence and contempt of court. Lady Catherine was immediately acquitted, to loud cheering from the public gallery where sat the many tenants and retainers of the Earl of Scrotum.
So distressing had her ordeal been that she went straight to Coutts and withdrew a modest sum from the Arbuthbott-Bumley-Smythe millions. Placing the cash in her handbag she proceeded to Sweden, where by happy coincidence her faithful young retainer "the Swede" was now resident. Thus a distressing and sad chapter in Her Ladyship's most interesting and exciting life drew to a close, and most likely a climax.
Baron Lars-Hendrik Abba af Waterloo
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Sadly, the happiest moments in our life are all too fleeting, and this was to prove all too true of the time Lady Catherine was to spend with her second husband Baron Lars-Hendrik Abba af Waterloo, a descendent of the Swedish hero and victor of Waterloo, and one of the wealthiest men in Scandinavia. Baron Lars was considered one of the handsomest men of his generation, so it was only natural that his penetrating eyes should fall on the injured but still ravishing Lady Catherine.
The happy couple were introduced by Lady Catherine's former footman Sven, who by happenstance was in the employment of the Baron as 2nd under valet. Indeed, it was Sven's amusing idea that Lady Catherine should hide in the Baron's bedroom during a game of
The Baron was a great horseman with a critical eye for equine beauty. Lady Catherine was delighted to present him with an outstanding
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9c/Lipizzaner_DSC02439.jpg/300px-Lipizzaner_DSC02439.jpg)
It was at this time in her life, marooned in the Swedish countryside, that Lady Catherine, a solid English countrywoman at heart, decided to find herself a hobby. Naturally, her thoughts turned to hunting, shooting and fishing – in particular shooting, and the training of gun-dogs. As she watched her husband skilfully performing the
Sweden, that distant northern land of permafrost, frozen meatballs, and snow, now held too many bittersweet memories for Lady Catherine. It was with a heavy heart, and ignoring the futile protestations of the Baron's relatives, that she sold Skandabrod Castle, auctioned the contents, sent the Rembrandts to Scrotum Towers and, packing only the family jewels, clad in her newly bought sable, left Sweden for ever.
HSH Prince Alexander of Serbo-Croatia
Sundry husbands
Lady Catherine has always maintained a dignified silence surrounding the exact number of husbands she took during a difficult period of her life when, forced to leave England, she was exiled in Sicily for ten years. Approached with questions about this period of her life by With these few simple words Her Ladyship demonstrated, yet again, her deep understanding of the human condition. Taking leave of her interviewer, she added, "Hello ... good bye".
Field Marshall Henry de Burgh
Politics
Misunderstood links with fascism
Following Lady Catherine's sad flight from Sweden, Her Ladyship, like so many others of her class and intelligence, settled in Berlin, with a small rural retreat near Munich. There, dressed in a simple
The proposal from Il Duce
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/28/Mussolini_young.jpg/220px-Mussolini_young.jpg)
It was in Italy, that land of culture, grace, art and refinement, that Lady Catherine found her spiritual home. Coincidentally it was here that her brother, Arsie, Viscount Broadmoor, had also chosen to make his home. Like his sister, Lord Broadmoor was of a delicate and refined disposition, finding the roughness and coarseness of England intolerable. He chose to spend his life in the freer, more tolerant Italian society. There, like so many other English gentlemen, he whiled away his days painting precocious "shepherd" boys in the classical style, dressed in goatskins (or not), and also designing ladies' fashions that his sister happily wore to society events. However, it was not to be either a member of society or one of her brother's muscular friends who would capture the injured and lonely heart of the bereft Lady Catherine. That honour was to fall to another.
The great love of Her Ladyship's life was ultimately to be her greatest and most noble sacrifice. Threatened with a charge of treason, she stood fast. It was, alas, that cruelest of blows, a note from her father threatening to disinherit her, that forced her to rethink her future. How could she have so upset that aged, lonely, much beloved and very rich old man? This one cruel act forced her to make her historic broadcast of 1938 to the British people, relinquishing her love.
As Lady Catherine sobbed into her microphone on that terrible night, a nation wept with her. No one was closer to the hearts of the British people than Lady Catherine. As the war clouds gathered over the
The Dark days of the Wartime
Oh her return to London, Lady Catherine decided to throw her indomitable spirit and energies into the war effort. The war had not quite started, but ever a practical and resilient person Her Ladyship could see the hardships that would lie ahead. It was of course for the upper classes to lead by example, and this was exactly what Lady Catherine decided to do. She realised that with fathers and sons torn from their families by the evils of war, and mothers toiling in munitions factories, there would be a huge void in the lives of so many little ones. The solution was obvious – Lady Catherine would found a finishing school.
Purchasing a large and secluded country house, conveniently close to a well known garrison town, Her Ladyship personally selected the girls for her school. It was reported later, after the trial, by the gutter press, that many of the girls selected were in fact far beyond school age, and had in fact been deriving incomes long before coming under Lady Catherine's protection. Yet again, Her Ladyship's refreshingly innocent and vulnerable nature had left her open to deception, and she had been truly deceived by these wicked girls. Following a six-month visit to her dearest friend
Lady Catherine's War 1941–1945 in the USA
It was on a dark and misty morning that Lady Catherine's yacht "Scrotum IV" glided silently past the Statue of Liberty. Posterity will never know her innermost thoughts as she gazed at that impressive statue representing a freedom so cruelly denied to her in England. Forty-eight thousand people had gathered unobtrusively on the quayside to welcome her (and graciously also remained to greet their President, arriving on another ship twenty minutes later). Lady Catherine greeted them with a small brave smile and an understated regal wave. Lady Catherine commandeered a waiting limousine and went on to a new life.
Men Her Ladyship may have known
According to discreet hints in Her Ladyship's famous memoirs My Life of Joy and Tears, she has led a fulfilling life on every possible level. Her friends among the titled, the artistic, and the exotic have benefited in no small measure from her fame and popularity. Pursuant to studies with a
Literary works
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c5/CdeB2.jpg/250px-CdeB2.jpg)
Lady Catherine is a prolific and consummate
The twilight years
One of Her ladyship's last great acts on this earth was her bid for the Vice Presidency of the USA [1] – undoubtedly had Mr O'Bama not received slightly more votes America would have been truly blessed, and had its finest leader since George III was treated so shabbily by the natives of those parts.
Her Ladyship's final moments
Following Her Ladyship's untimely death (she had declined to submit to one before) a post-mortem examination found that Her Late Ladyship died of apoplexy following a violation by three Wikipedia checkusers who accused Her Ladyship of being a man – one Greg Kohs, a man Her Ladyship presumed to be an American gentleman of doubtful credentials. Her Ladyship denied vehemently that the subject of her famed biography
The funeral of Catherine de Burgh, Duchesse de Longchamp-sous-Châtenois (as televised)
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e5/Chinesehappa.jpg/150px-Chinesehappa.jpg)
9am: As a strong wind swirled the leaves from the gardens of Grosvenor Square in a maelstrom of gold, the silent, but softly weeping crowd, began to line the streets. on the south side of the square the American flag flying proudly above the
At precisely 11 am the simple coffin of Lady Catherine draped by the
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b0/Uninvited-Console.jpg/150px-Uninvited-Console.jpg)
In Duke of Wellington Place the cortege paused, to await the carriage procession through the park, from
After some minutes, order was restored and the cortege moved off, each of the 52 Otter hounds with a pelican in its mouth. Ironically that heraldic bird an emblem of the Scrotum family. The bedraggled and wet pekingese followed behind, their leader carrying what appeared to a once human ear. Finally, and without further event, the band now playing a selection of Her Ladyship's favourite
It was Her Ladyships wish that only clergy who had celebrated her marriages should celebrate her funeral mass. So it was that the simple mass began. Following the placement on the catafalque the congregation sang I Vow to Thee, My Country using the German words, so cleverly translated by Lady Catherine, ever mindful of the Girl Guide's motto herself in 1939. Following the hymn, The Hon. Mrs. Bishonen-Sodastoam stepped to the pulpit to deliver the eulogy of her late and much lamented friend. The moving tribute that followed was, however, somewhat marred by Mrs. Bishonen's pet while left unsupervised and becoming bored eating three of the chandeliers, the lectern and causing a small fire.
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/30/Rite_versaillais.jpg/300px-Rite_versaillais.jpg)
Following the singing of the
Back out into Westminster Square to the applause of those who had made the journey from Japan and the battery of
At the entrance to Euston station's platform 4, the mourning party was met by a delegation of
After a delay of some moments during which the funeral party were escorted back to the ticket office by Mrs M'Boko, to buy new tickets and pay a fine, the funeral train finally left Euston and passed slowly through the suburbs and on towards the family seat for that final return home.
Reports of death were greatly exaggerated
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Arriving at Scrotum the sad cortege passed along the village street, lined with weeping retainers and through the great iron gates into the park. Before proceeding to the silent, brooding mausoleum in the dark woods, the mourners retired to the mansion to avail themselves of the facilities. It was while several of the mourners were loading their cars with small easily handled ornaments and pictures, that Stanislas (Her Ladyship's devoted plumber) decided to take one last, meaningful look at Her Ladyship. He lifted the oaken lid, and gently held her hand, sentimentally and slowly twisting and caressing the large diamond solitaire, when like Sleeping Beauty, Her Ladyship suddenly awoke. Sitting upright, and ramming the diamond solitaire firmly back on her finger, she surveyed her stunned family. The look of frozen delight on their faces as they realised that Lady Catherine was not dead, but has merely been suffering from a catatonic illness was a delight for her to behold. Climbing from the now redundant coffin, and removing the Rembrandt from her beloved nephew's hands she poured herself a large gin, whilst reserving a bowlful for her joy filled Pekingese.
First Lady of Wikipedia and the USA
Finding Scrotum Towers and the sight of the opened mausoleum a little depressing, after carrying out a full inventory of her possessions and threatening several of her relations with lawsuits, Lady Catherine summoned her chauffeur and returned to London which coincidentally had become the home of Wikipedia's esteemed sovereign. Poor dear King Jimbo was anxious to lay down that heavy burden which God has placed up his noble head and find a suitably glittering and illustrious successor.[20]. It is therefore hardly surprising that one evening as Lady Catherine dined at her usual table in the Ritz with her daughter, Ursaline, and great nephew, Giano, that amongst those passing by to pay their respects was Jimbo himself. As he waited, nervously screwing his table napkin, for an acknowledgement and few gracious words - how he must have envied that posture, regal pose and full head of raven hair. How he must have admired Giano, the loyal nephew and dining companion. After several minutes, Giano drew his aunt's attention to the man waiting so patiently at her feet. As Jimbo gazed into those kind, wise eyes he knew instantly that he had found a worthy successor; it was later said that by cruel and unkind charlatans [21] that Lady Catherine had engineered the meeting and drugged and hypnotised the unfortunate Jimbo - a spurious claim strongly refuted.[22] The details of that historic meeting are best told by an independent witness, no other personage than Lady Catherine's own daughter, Ursaline Starborgling in her own eloquent words:-
- "Oh how fondly I remember those heavenly nights of the 1940s, the divine firework displays provided by Herr Hitler and his chums - their sparkles reflected in the Thames as we dined at the Savoy before going on to the Snake Hipsgyrated and sung as we danced all night - Oh what fun it all was." Where am I now?
- "Oh how fondly I remember those heavenly nights of the 1940s, the divine firework displays provided by Herr Hitler and his chums - their sparkles reflected in the Thames as we dined at the Savoy before going on to the
- Oh yes, here I am: "so I was on the dressing table in the Ritz's ladies' loo with my nose against the tiles, when dearest, darling Aunt Clemmiecame in and said: Ursaline stop smelling that nasty, disgusting French chalk at once, go and rejoin your mother; she's being pestered by some odd little man" Actually it may have been 1962, not 1942 - I get confused at parties; is it important?
- Oh yes, here I am: "so I was on the dressing table in the Ritz's ladies' loo with my nose against the tiles, when dearest, darling
In 2016, the World's press (and most other people) were caught completely unaware when the Lady Catherine announced her forthcoming nuptials to American presidential candidate
In 2024, Lady Catherine announced that all talk of her knowing Mr Trump was false, spurious fake news. Due to overtaxing and claims of tax fraud concerning numerous off-shore companies, Her Ladyship was in fact forced to live in abject penury at her homes in Monte Carlo, Long Island and the Cayman Islands.
Notes
- ^ Although Burke’s Peerage claims Her Ladyship was born in 1910, Lady Catherine strongly disputes this and maintains that she was born in 1920.
- ^ de Burgh pp 1 – 104; 106 – 212; 214 – 318
- ^ de Burgh, p 265
- ISBN 0-670-89112-6)
- ^ Sleighthand p 167
- ^ de Burgh, p. 476.
- ^ Respect for freedom of inquiry and opinion impels presentation of a summary of these extraordinary fantasies, viz: Lady Catherine's life has always been somewhat tainted. Indeed, the term 'sibling rivalry' was coined by the eminent psychiatrist Dr Gottfried Strabismus after his close study of Lady Catherine in her childhood. From an early age she was in the shadow of her far more talented, beautiful and accomplished sister Lady Venetia, a shadow from which Catherine was never to emerge. This stunted her growth, mentally, emotionally and indeed physically: her eyelids stopped growing at the age of six, with the unfortunate result that Lady Catherine is unable to close her eyes and has a rather unsettling 'staring' appearance. This has led to the soubriquet of 'Boggle-Eyes Burgh' amongst the under-stairs members of her modestly staffed household. However, in 2007 her sister Venetia graciously extended the hand of friendship to her poor sister who was struggling in reduced circumstances, an event which lifted Lady Catherine from the despond in which she had spent the previous sixty years. Venetia, ever charming and generous, chose to ignore the vicious and vile babblings of her demented sibling, as documented in these very pages. Greater love hath no woman! (Bonkbuster, pp. 12–173.)
- ^ Miss Agnes Penury: The Noble Nursery, page 807; London 1934
- ^ The Diary of HM Queen Mary: The Royal Archives, Windsor Castle.
- ^ De Burgh, Lady Catherine. A Splendid Life. Palermo Publishing 1997. Copies still available $120, all major credit cards accepted.
- ^ De Burgh, Lady Catherine. A Splendid Life. Palermo Publishing 1997. Copies still available $120, all major credit cards accepted.
- ^ Holy, Moses Jr. (1947). Michelangelo: The Scrotum Towers Chapel Chapel Ceiling. Palermo Publishing
- ^ de Burgh, p 215
- ^ Hello Magazine, February 1997
- ^ A large country somewhere between Canada and Uruguay.
- ^ News of the World, August 16, 2003.
- ^ [http://www.thesun.co.uk/ The Sun, August 29, 2007, p. 3.
- ^ A fact already known to most of Wikipedia, most of the Arbcom and most of the checkusers and for 2 years to the violating checkuser and controller of the Arbcom mailing list, David Gerard
- ^ The foundation had refused to fund the remainder of the floral tribute
- ^ De Burgh: The Resurrected Years, p467.
- ^ The British Press and several supposed eye witnesses
- ^ De Burgh: The Resurrected Years, p469.
Further reading
- Carbuncle, Lady Arabella. What the Baronet Saw. Obelisk Press, 1927, Paris. Exceedingly uncommon, and happily so.
- de Burgh, Lady Catherine. My Life of Joy and Tears. Privately published 1962, London.
- Porkstrain, St John. Notable Patrons of British Airways Ltd. 1950, London.
- Sleighthand, [Justice Sir] Bufton. The Condemned Cell: 70 Years a Judge. 1953, London.
- Sleighthand, [Justice Sir] Bufton. The Long Drop: The Dangers of Lenient Sentencing. 1949, London
- Throng, Roy. Wrinkled Retention: The Scrotums through the Centuries 2008, London and New York.