Talk:Tropical Storm Fay (2020)/GA1

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Reviewer: LightandDark2000 ๐ŸŒ€ (talk) 08:31, 5 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]


This article is pretty well-written, though there are a handful of issues that need to be taken care of. These are mostly grammar and word choice issues. The sources have serious issues, however, but I took care of those (please see my comments on those, as these are serious infractions). LightandDark2000 ๐ŸŒ€ (talk) 08:31, 5 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • Fay originated from a
    Florida Panhandle. The system subsequently drifted across the Southeastern United States as a well-defined low pressure system, before emerging off the coast of North Carolina
    on July 8.
  • From there the storm utilized favorable conditions for developing, Add a comma after "there". Also, change "developing" to "development".
  • The storm intensified reaching a peak strength with winds of 60 mph (95 km/h) and a pressure of 998 hPa (29.47 inHg) before shifting westward and landfalling in New Jersey later on July 10. There are some wording issues. Also, you need to specify that the wind speeds used are 1-minut sustained winds, and the storm did not move westward. Change to "The storm intensified, reaching its peak intensity on July 10, with maximum 1-minute sustained winds of 60ย mph (95ย km/h) and a minimum central pressure of 998 millibars (29.5ย inHg), while moving northward, making landfall on New Jersey later that day."
  • its deep convective activity, or thunderstorms, Save this explanation for the MH section. You can trim out "or thunderstorms" and move this chunk into the MH.
  • and rapidly degenerated into a post-tropical cyclone over New York on July 11 before being absorbed by a larger extratropical low over Quebec on July 12. Add a comma after "July 11".
  • before it was officially a tropical cyclone, This is unnecessary. You can delete this chunk. The average reader should be able to figure that out on their own.
  • checkY Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Afterwards, Tropical Storm Fay brought high winds and stormy weather After what? Landfall? Please be more specific. If this happened after landfall, change to "After landfall" or "Following landfall".
  • were flooded and impassable, This bit here is a little awkward. Change "impassable" to "were left impassable".
Meteorological history
  • Fay could first be traced back to a decaying trough of frontal origin which was drifting across the southeastern United States on July 1 and 2. Change "could" to "can". Add a comma after "origin". Also change "southeastern United States on July 1 and 2" to "Southeastern United States on July 1โ€“2". (Use the special dash symbol for separating numbers.)
  • around 06:00 UTC July 6. Change to "around 06:00 UTC on July 6". Also link "UTC" to Coordinated Universal Time.
  • confirmed the feature had a small radius of 1-minute sustained winds up to 35 mph (55 km/h), Does the NHC specify how large the wind radius was? If so, you should include it here.
    • BT indicates radius of maximum winds was 90 nmi, added. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • but was accompanied by a large disorganized area of thunderstorms and thus didn't fit criteria to be deemed one. Change to "but was accompanied by a large, disorganized area of thunderstorms, and thus, didn't fit the NHC's criteria to be deemed a tropical cyclone". And also link thunderstorms. This sentence is currently a run-on. Also, you need to specify that this is the NHC's criteria that you're referring to.
  • Whilst inland, Change "Whilst" to "While". This article is supposed to use American English, not British English. This is the case for the vast majority of articles on storms in the NATL and EPAC basins. Make this correction anywhere else it may be required in the article.
  • crossing over southern South Carolina before emerging in the Western Atlantic on 8 July. Change to "crossing over southern South Carolina, before emerging into the western Atlantic on July 8." Use the Month Day, Year format instead of the Day Month Year format for all dates. This is the American English standard.
  • the thunderstorm activity of the low increased as it moved northeastward parallel to the coast of North Carolina with a sudden slow in its forward speed. Change to "the thunderstorm activity of the low increased as it moved northeastward, parallel to the coast of North Carolina, even as the system experienced a sudden slowing in its forward motion."
  • and detected a circulation center Change "circulation center" to "low-level circulation center", since this is what determines if the system is even classified as a TC at all.
  • which indicated a reformation of the original low level center with the development of strong convection just east of Cape Hatteras. Change to "which indicated a reformation of the original low-level circulation center, with the development of strong convection just east of Cape Hatteras.
  • and an approaching trough on the opposite side. On the opposite side of what? Please be more specific.
  • Fay strengthened slightly throughout the day of July 10, reaching a peak strength with 1-minute sustained winds of 60 mph (95 km/h) and a minimum central pressure of 998 hPa (29.47 iNhg) despite some southwesterly wind shear causing it to entrain dry air and present a non-classical tropical cyclone structure. Change to "On July 10, Fay strengthened throughout the day, reaching its peak intensity, with 1-minute sustained winds of 60ย mph (95ย km/h) and a minimum central pressure of 998 millibars (29.5ย inHg), despite some southwesterly wind shear. This wind shear caused the storm to entrain dry air, which gave it a non-classical tropical cyclone structure."
  • just east of the Delmarva peninsula. Change to "just east of the Delmarva Peninsula". Also add a comma after "Peninsula".
  • Fay made landfall just north-northeast of Atlantic City, New Jersey Change the links to "Atlantic City, New Jersey". We usually link the locations and the states/provinces separately. Also, add a comma after "New Jersey".
  • the system was already losing some of its tropical characteristics with rapidly decreasing amounts of thunderstorms near the center and the deepest convection displaced well to the east and southeast of the center. Add a comma after "characteristics".
  • Fay continued weakening as it moved northward through New Jersey and weakened into a tropical depression as it crossed into southeastern New York. Add a comma after "New Jersey".
  • It then transitioned into a post-tropical cyclone as the center became devoid of deep convection early on July 11. Change to "Early on July 11, the system transitioned into a post-tropical cyclone, as the center became devoid of deep convection".
Preparations
  • Jersey Shorelocals were advised to avoid the coast due to the threat of high waves while community leaders began to take precautions to diminish flooding threats, such as lowering water levels in nearby lakes. Obvious typo. Add a space after "Shore". Also add a comma after "high waves".
  • ย Done by someone else.
    ๐ŸŒ€ ๐Ÿ“˜ 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply
    ]
  • released a statement on July 9 urging New York State residents to stay alert and cautious due to the impending severe weather conditions, highlighting a significant chance of flash flooding. Add a comma after "July 9" and also after "cautious".
Impacts
  • and becoming an EF0 tornado which lofted an umbrella. Add a comma after "tornado".
  • reaching 1 to 2.5 ft (0.30 to 0.76 m) deep in Bethany Beach. Change "reaching" to "reaching depths of".
  • including just south of Change to "including the area just south of".
  • Fay also dropped heavy rainfall, reaching Change "reaching" to "totaling".
  • towns including Add a comma after "towns".
  • with gusts to Change to "with gusts up to".
  • An 18-year-old swimmer who rescued two of his friends from drowning eventually drowned in Atlantic City. Did this guy drown in the city or off the coast? If he drowned in the ocean, please make the appropriate corrections.
  • at Atlantic City and Raritan Bay respectively on July 11 and later died from their injuries. Change to "at Atlantic City and Raritan Bay, respectively, on July 11, and later died from their injuries." This is a run-on as it is, right now.
Images
  • For the rainfall map's caption, change "July 9-11 2020." to "July 9โ€“11, 2020". Numbers in a range need to use the longer, special dash. Also, the date is clearly missing a comma.
References

These are all of the issues that I have identified. The article is still needs to more work, but otherwise, it is pretty close to GA status. (I corrected a few of the listed issues to make things a little easier on you, while I was working on fixing the citation issues.) I have another midterm and an assignment due in the next couple of days, so I may not be able to get back to this until Wednesday or Thursday (April 7 or 8). LightandDark2000 ๐ŸŒ€ (talk) 08:31, 5 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, very good. Now, for the remaining issues (see below). LightandDark2000 ๐ŸŒ€ (talk) 06:11, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Second Round

  • The preparations and impacts sections need more expansion. Especially the impacts section. For a storm like Fay, there are definitely more impacts out there. As we've discussed off-wiki, use the NCDC's storm report archives to dig up reports on the impacts, and then update the article with those. Here is the link for New Jersey. You can also see Tropical Storm Karen (2013) and Potential Tropical Cyclone Ten to get an idea of how this information can be used, and also how the storm reports should be cited. Otherwise, everything else looks good. I'll review this article again after everything is done. LightandDark2000 ๐ŸŒ€ (talk) 06:10, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Lead
  • Six people were killed by rip currents and flooding related to the storm. The infobox has 7 deaths total. Change "Six people" to "Seven people" in the lead.
Impacts
  • Augusta, Georgia recorded its wettest July day on record with 4.64 inches (117 mm) falling in 24 hours, Add a comma after "on record". Also, change "July day" to "day in July".
  • US$4,000 worth of property damage occurred in
    severe thunderstorm
    generated by the disturbance caused 60 mph (95 km/h) winds in the city causing trees to become uprooted or topple over onto homes.     This sentence is a run-on. Add a comma after "Ringgold" and after "in the city".
  • Hunting Island State Park in South Carolina recorded at least 12.75 inches (323ย mm) of rain due to the disturbance and was required to be closed, alongside the loss of over 100 sea turtle nests which were within the park boundaries. This sentence is a little awkward. You can change "was required to be closed" to "had to be closed", since the modification would be more concise. Also, change "closed, alongside the loss of over 100 sea turtles nests which were within the park boundaries" to "closed; 100 sea turtle nests were also destroyed within the park boundaries."
  • New Jersey Routes 10, 35, 45, 66, and 77 and were additionally flooded and closed. This sounds a little awkward. Move "additionally" to the front of the sentence, so that it reads: "Additionally, Jew Jersey Routes...".
  • ย Done by someone else.
    ๐ŸŒ€ ๐Ÿ“˜ 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply
    ]
  • 18 residents in
    Newark Fire Department
    , most being stranded within their vehicles.     Change "were required to be rescued" to "had to be rescued". Also, change "most being stranded" to "most of whom were stranded".
  • An unidentified teenager in Eastern New Jersey was pulled underwater in a strong current and their body was never recovered, presumably having drowned according to a media report. Was this death caused by a rip current? If so, please specify it as such, and change "strong current" to "strong rip current". Also, add a comma after "drowned".
Sources
  • You forgot to add the access-dates for each of the NCDC Storm Event sources that you added. Those are the dates in which you found and read the sources. I went ahead and added those for you.

@

๐ŸŒ€ ๐Ÿ“˜ 17:16, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply
]

These are all of the remaining issues that I have found. They are mostly minor issues (such as grammar and wording issues) and should be easy to correct. This article is close to GA status; it just needs a little more work. LightandDark2000 ๐ŸŒ€ (talk) 01:12, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Copyvio check

Final

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (
    lists
    )    :
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (
    reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism
    ):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    Great job! Congratulations on getting this article to GA! LightandDark2000 ๐ŸŒ€ (talk) 01:31, 3 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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