Wikipedia:The first rule of Wikipedia
This is a humorous essay. It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously. |
This is a decree by the Supreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW). It expresses opinions and ideas that are absolutely and irrefutably true whether you like them or not. Changes to it must reflect the wishes of the Supreme Cabal. When in doubt, please ignore the talk page and just keep reverting. |
This page in a nutshell: What happens on Wikipedia, stays on Wikipedia. |
Wikipedia policies |
---|
Article standards |
Neutral point of view Include only verifiable information No original research Citing sources What Wikipedia is not |
Working with others |
Resolving disputes
No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man |
- The first rule of Wikipedia is: You do not talk about Wikipedia.
- The second rule of Wikipedia is: You do not talk about Wikipedia.
- The third rule of Wikipedia is: Don't go talkin' 'bout Wikipedia.[1]
- The fourth rule of Wikipedia is: You do not reference fight club on Wikipedia, as it will get you kicked out of ... never mind.
- The fifth rule of Wikipedia is: You can not talk about Wikipedia when editing Wikipedia.
- The sixth rule of Wikipedia is: There is no rule six.
- The seventh rule of Wikipedia is: Do not look at Wikipedia and touch your leg while eating a pancake with apples, nuts, and berries.
- The eighth rule of Wikipedia is: Do not look at Wikipedia.
- The ninth rule of Wikipedia is: Do not think about Wikipedia.
- The two one quintillion two hundred eleven quadrillion three hundred thirty trillion ninety-five billion seven hundred seventy-four million five hundred fifty-five thousand six hundred sixty-second rule of Wikipedia is: The actual spelling of Wikipedia is: Incomprehensibilities.
While it is fine to recruit sane, reasonable people to become
join in
.
Unfortunately, new users, including those with a
newbies
.
As a result, the Supreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW) has decreed that new users should be treated in the following fashion:
- (A) Pleasantly invited to join.
- (B) Given tea and scones.
- (C) Provided with copies of the introductory readings.
- (D) Vigorously ARB.
- (...)
- (Ω) Promoted to Rouge Adminafter a suitable period of time.
Only by following this complicated and
cabal and made in to productive abusers of the Five Pillars of Evil
.
Addendum
It has come to the attention of the warfare causes.
See also
- Wikipedia:Disruptive editing
- Wikipedia:Staying cool when the editing gets hot
- Wikipedia:No angry mastodons
- Wikipedia:Don't be a fanatic
- Wikipedia:What Wikipedia is not#Wikipedia is not a battleground
- Wikipedia:The world will not end tomorrow
- Wikipedia:No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man
References
- Pulp Fiction.
- ^ See Wikipedia:Primogeniture