Wikipedia:Requests for medication

This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous.
Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

This is a humorous essay.

It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously.

This page in a nutshell: This article is intended as humor. If you were looking for

dispute resolution

process, then wow are you in the wrong place! Even if you were looking for requests for mediation, you are still in the wrong place!

Requests for Medication is the most important step in

natural disaster

. Side effects may include:

watery eyes
blurred vision
not giving a crap anymore
smiling way too much
missing work the next day
not giving a crap anymore
staying home instead to edit Wikipedia
loss of Internet access or residence due to non-payment.

Before requesting medication, you should invite some friends over so that they may benefit from the humor of your behavior, tease you about it for the remainder of your life and post pics on your talk page. If medication fails to bring about a resolution to your dispute, tell the other guy to chill the fuck out. If this still doesn't work, then try

taking up a different dispute or a hobby

; you're probably wrong anyway. I mean, really, I lost a dispute and started knitting instead and I'm much happier. With the proceeds from the sweaters that I sell, I've accumulated enough money to pay my ISP again.

Editing Wikipedia unmedicated can lead to

speedily deleted

before you even get a chance to click on the Save page button, so don't even try it!

See also