Wikipedia:Wikipediholic

This is a humorous essay. It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously.

Shortcuts WP:HOLIC WP:ADDICTED

Wikipediholic
One of the few confirmed photographs of Wikipediholics in the wild. The disease is dangerous and probably incurable.
Scientific classification
Domain:	Eukaryota
Kingdom:	Animalia
Phylum:	Chordata
Class:	Mammalia
Order:	Primates
Suborder:	Haplorhini
Infraorder:	Simiiformes
Family:	Hominidae
Subfamily:	Homininae
Tribe:	Hominini
Genus:	Homo
Species:	H. wikiaddictus[a]
Binomial name
Homo wikiaddictus[a]

A Wikipediholic, wikiholic, Wikipediaholic, Wikipath, wikiaddict, or wikimaniac (in

• Official Wikipediholism Test: If you think you are a Wikipediholic, please take this test for proper diagnosis. Note: This is quite long; set aside at least 15 minutes to take this test.

This is a recent phenomenon – having been made possible by the creation of Wikipedia in

Although people who fit those descriptions are welcome, especially the coconut monkeys, they should know that their fellow primates do not necessarily share their world-view, and that it may be better for wiki itself if they take a walk once in a while, and remember that their body consists of more than fingers, eyes, brain, and bladder. And that wiki exists to serve us, not as an end wholly in itself.

An alternative addiction is "wikistalking".

Wikistalkers have gotten over their addiction to editing. However, they enjoy watching even the most minute changes. Most probably check New pages continuously.

Wikiholics are often called "nerds", a term used negatively. In fact, with how many articles they read and absorb into their brains, they are super-sapiens.

Level I

• You read Wikipedia articles much more than the average person.
• You start to make regular edits to Wikipedia.
• You have an account with one or more other Wikipedias or other Wikimedia projects.
• You procrastinate things that have been important in your life.
• You realize you are editing pages on a Thursday night.
• You talk about Wikipedia frequently in daily life.

Level II

• You've already read this far in the list.
• You understand the term '
  sock puppet
  '.
• Upon hearing the term alcoholic, you catch yourself clarifying it to a complete stranger "Oh, you mean like a Wikipediholic only with alcohol".
• Whenever your web-browser is closed, you feel a large sense of communal absence.
• You've already edited this page.
• You've already edited the Signs of Wikipediholism list.
• You deny that you've already edited the Signs of Wikipediholism list, even though it's obvious you did.
• You avoid sharing GIFs on social media out of fear of violating copyright laws.
• You try to edit your sent items on your email account, thinking that they can be updated.
• You check your watchlist and talk page more than your email inbox.
• You have the Main Page bookmarked as your home page.
• You find yourself ending emails with ~~~~ and try to italicize and bold messages with apostrophes.
• You always check all kinds of texts to see if they are wikified.
• You attempt to replace curly apostrophes with straight ones in everyday life.
• You spend most of your breaks editing Wikipedia instead of eating your food, doing schoolwork, or socially distancing interacting with friends.
• You scream "Ew, disgusting!!" when you see
  fix it
  .

Level III

• You regularly write {{
  cn}} in the margin of any book you are reading.^{[citation needed}
  ]
• You get frustrated when you can't fix typos in your local news but are simultaneously glad that you can't, because then it would be an unreliable source that includes
  user-generated content
  .
• add wikilinks with "[[]]".
• You get anxious and even angry at reading the giant sea of
  WP:DAB
  pages on the previous bullet point.
• You get confused when you can't find the little blue edit markers on books and magazines.
• You accidentally say "Does this spot on my hat look notable?"
• You accidentally end your comments on other websites with ~~~~.
  • You try to end things you say in real life with ~~~~. (???)
• You begin to adhere to
  MOS:NUMERAL
  in your personal communications.
• When you close your eyes you see
  wiki code. (A case of Tetris Syndrome
  , personified.)
• You have dreams about an anthropomorphic Wikipedia.
• You
  fantasize about an anthropomorphic Wikipedia (who added this?) (seriously, who did it? I want to give them an award :D) (The one who posted this question is not a true Wikipedian
  ; the true one knows how to find the answer.)
• If so much as one thing you don't know comes across your mind, you bolt for the nearest computer to see if Wikipedia has a page on it.
  • If it does, you drop whatever you were doing before the urge took you and edit the page obsessively, whether you know the topic or not.
  • If it does not, you obsessively check every single paper encyclopedia you have and search six different search engines for information on the subject. Then you proceed to write three screens worth on the topic and create an article on it, which probably will never be seen or thought about by another being in a thousand years.
• You change your clock to match UTC rather than your own time zone because it's easier that way.
• You stylise documents similar to a Wikipedia article.

  

• Your official signature in real life is ~~~~.
• You started formatting section headers with "==...==" in your second life real life work documents, and your boss started suspecting something...

Level IV

• You start playing WikiLadders – the game where you open two random articles and try to get from the first to the second using only the links in the first and subsequent articles...
  • ...and then go back to try and do it again using fewer links.
• You try editing magazines.
• You try editing Uncyclopedia in an attempt to escape from Wikipedia.
  • You fail miserably, and return to Wikipedia once again.
• You donate your life savings to Wikipedia.
• You skip an important date to look up references for an article on a subject you'd never even heard of before you discovered Wikipedia.
• You turn up late for work and bleary-eyed after a particularly aggressive XfD (and you know what XfD means because you've looked it up already.)
• Your state/provincial/territorial/national reference librarians know you by first name.
  • Your state/provincial/territorial/national reference librarians know you by first, middle, last, and nicknames.
• You add Wiki to most words in
  real life, and have sent letters to the Oxford University Press
  demanding that "wiki" be added as an official prefix.
• You have conversations with your
  sock puppet
  on the talk pages (this is against Wikipedia rules but don't tell your sock puppet).
• Your best friend is your
  sock puppet
  (also against Wikipedia rules).
• You start falling in love with your sock puppet (actually... this is not explicitly against Wikipedia rules... yet).
• You are currently shielding your sock puppet's eyes from this page telling it to "not listen to those meanies" and "I love you for who you are."

Level V

• Reality and Wikipedia begin to blur (think Existenz).
• Friends begin to shun you, knowing you will only talk about Wiki issues (including inviting them to be a member of a Wikipedia).
• You add citations for an article about Wikipediholism that are removed for WP:NOR.
• You say the Wiki Prayer before beginning a day long chain of edits.
• You wish for the end of the world so WP:Beyond the end can happen.

Wiki Prayer

(Source:^[1] adapted from The Serenity Prayer),

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the

pages I cannot edit

,

"The

courage

to edit the pages I can,

"And the wisdom to know the difference."

Motto

One edit is too many and a thousand is never enough.

Risk factors

Those who are the most at risk for catching the disease are those who have

The patient uses their watchlist as their homepage. They may also explore the Recent changes. The patient reduces other "real world" activities such as washing clothes, cleaning their house and talking to friends. Editing takes up more and more time. They may edit on a smartphone on the bus, at work, at home on a laptop and even in bed on a tablet. They may join multiple WikiProjects and contribute very heavily to many articles, as well as trying to edit heavily outside the article and talk namespaces. Certain individuals may even choose to edit Wikipedia:Wikipediholic and related articles. The patient learns advanced HTML and master wiki markup. They become an Administrator. The patient may use third party software to edit Wikipedia, and accumulate many barnstars. The thought comes to them, while reading this page, "this isn't funny; my contributions to Wikipedia are extremely important". Cures become scarce.

Terminal stages

The patient uses the Recent changes as their homepage and identifies as a Recent changes patroller. They reduce all other activities besides those relating to "real world" health and Wikipedia (and sometimes endanger the former). The patient joins multiple WikiProjects and contributes very heavily to many articles, as well as to the core of running of Wikipedia. They master HTML and rewrite the Manual of Style. The patient requests to be a Bureaucrat or Wikimedia Foundation employee. They shun third-party software, preferring the "raw" Wikipedia experience. The patient has so many barnstars that they take them off their userpage because they take up too much room and place them in a subpage of their userpage. Extreme denial may result, and cure is almost impossible. Terminal stages are when the wikipediholic spends an inordinate amount of time on Wikipedia, and may spend very little time eating, sleeping or washing due to the amount of time being spent on Wikipedia.

In extreme (yet rare, we hope!) cases, the patient may begin publishing paper versions of Wikipedia and trying to make profit off of them.

For those who see no end to their Wikipediholism, they may want to join the