Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Leonard Harrison State Park
Lead
- Opening sentence seems overly long and clumsy. It includes “Pennsylvania” twice, “state park” twice and “in” thrice. Do we need to know the precise address in the lead? “Leonard Harrison State Park is a 585-acre (237 ha) nature reserve in Tioga County, Pennsylvania in the United States.” or similar?
- Thanks, the problem is that there are 120 Pennsylvania state park articles (including 3 FAs - the two mentioned above, plus Presque Isle State Park) that all have the same basic lead sentence. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 17:49, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
- Agree with Ruhr, plus we have several state parks that do not have state park in their official name. See talk) 20:06, 13 August 2008 (UTC)]
- Agree with Ruhr, plus we have several state parks that do not have state park in their official name. See
- Thanks, the problem is that there are 120 Pennsylvania state park articles (including 3 FAs - the two mentioned above, plus Presque Isle State Park) that all have the same basic lead sentence. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 17:49, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
Current first sentence in Leonard Harrison State Park is:
Leonard Harrison State Park is a 585-acre (237 ha)
.
Current first sentence in all other FA protected area articles I found are:
Banff National Park (
Black Moshannon State Park is a 3,394-acre (1,374 ha) Pennsylvania state park in Rush Township in Centre County, Pennsylvania in the United States.
Bryce Canyon National Park (/ˈbraɪs/) is a national park located in southwestern Utah in the United States.
Chaco Culture National Historical Park is a
Craters of the Moon National Monument and Preserve is a
Death Valley National Park is a mostly
Everglades National Park is a national park in the U.S. state of Florida.
Exmoor is a
.Glacier National Park is located in the U.S. state of Montana, bordering the Canadian provinces of Alberta and British Columbia.
Kaziranga National Park (
.Mount Rushmore National Memorial, near
Presque Isle State Park (/ˌprɛskˈʔaɪl/) is a 3,200-acre (13 km2) Pennsylvania state park on an arching sandy peninsula that juts into Lake Erie, 4 miles (6 km) west of the city of Erie, in Millcreek Township, Erie County, Pennsylvania, in the United States.
The "Redwood National and State Parks" (RNSP) are located in the United States, along the coast of northern California.
Shoshone National Forest (
Worlds End State Park is a 780-acre (316 ha) Pennsylvania state park in Forks and Shrewsbury Townships, Sullivan County, Pennsylvania, in the United States.
Yellowstone National Park, set aside as a national park on March 1, 1872, is located mostly in the U.S. state of Wyoming, though it also extends into Montana and Idaho.
Yosemite National Park (pronounced "yo-SEM-it-ee", /joʊˈsɛmɨtiː/) is a national park located in the eastern portions of Tuolumne, Mariposa and Madera counties in east central California, United States.
Zion National Park is a
Ruhrfisch ><>°° 14:13, 15 August 2008 (UTC)
- All 19 sentences include the country, 17 of 19 articles include a link to national park / state park / national forest / national monument, 16 of 19 include the state or province, 10 of 19 include some more localized geographic reference within the state or province (i.e. county, town, district). Ruhrfisch ><>°° 14:52, 15 August 2008 (UTC)
"Leonard Harrison State Park is a 585-acre (237 ha) state park in Tioga County, Pennsylvania in the United States" may conform to the above and has only one visible "Pennsylvania" and one less "in". Ben MacDui 17:14, 15 August 2008 (UTC)
- I removed an "in" between townships and Tioga County. I prefer to keep talk) 22:14, 15 August 2008 (UTC)]
I had six hours on
- Leonard Harrison State Park is a 585-acre (237 ha) .
- Leonard Harrison State Park, located in Delmar Townships, Tioga County, is a 585-acre (237 ha) state park, in the U.S. state of Pennsylvania.
- Leonard Harrison State Park is a 585-acre (237 ha) Delmar Townships, Tioga County.